i was always there for you now i'm embarrassed that i stood up for you thought you got it, you don't get it at all how can you do the things you do and how can you stand you? cuz i can't, and i can't believe this to me, friendships are more important than getting drunk and making out but i'm starting to think, that i'm the only one who feels that way sometimes and i'm starting to think that honesty is non existent fuck your deception i'm not sorry anymore i hope you're sorry now glad you weren't the death of me but i swear, you almost were

i had a dream all of my friends hated me i never woke up i had a dream you were sick, i make you soup but you never called now i'm scantily clad on church steps wishing i believed in anything at all besides maybe caffeine and disappointment there are leaves on the ground but they are not the right ones where have i been and what have i become there are hands to hold but they are not the right ones there are hands to hold, but they're not yours i fell too hard, like i always do and i never left my room and i couldn't stop writing you i thought about calling but i had nothing to say i thought about begging you to stay my friends think i overreact and i can never relax i thought about begging i thought about asking i thought about everything but i had nothing to say i wish i still believed in anything besides disappointment and regret

the only ones i still respect are the ones who haven't hurt me yet but they would, if i gave 'em the chance you've got no chance because i'm over it before it starts because there's no one who won't make me feel bad and i spent too much time feeding a dog that always bites and i don't forgive i'm in love with everyone who i can never stomach talking to but i hate everyone because i can't believe the shit we all do but i am trying i hate the way i look and i hate the way i feel when i look great cuz no one appreciates it no one takes me out but i'm always exaggerating and complaining, so i'm not surprised i guess there's no moral i guess i'm just scared that i'm losing mine and i guess there's no need for explanation i'm just sick of being alone but we're all the same

i'm sick of saying sorry cuz i'm not and i'm sick of always feeling bad i'm sick of you telling me you'll always be there when i call you, you are not i've been told that my eyes are a much prettier blue when i cry but i'm sick of it always coming from the one who is making me sorry you think i overreact i guess sometimes i just get like that but if i'm sorry for anything at all it's that i'm sorry you are not i have everything that i need but i don't need everything that i have and i don't need you acting like you give a damn, if you don't i don't have everything that i want but i guess i don't want you if you don't need me i don't have everything that i want but who does? i wish i could get everyone in the same room who's ever said they'd love me forever i'd say how's your new lover and life without me? but oh, i wouldn't wanna hear the answer i wish i could get everyone in the same room who's ever said they'd always be there for me i'd say where have you been? i'm sick of saying sorry cuz i'm not and i'm sick of always feeling blue i'm sick of you telling me you'll always be there when i call you, there's no answer i've been told that my eyes are a much prettier blue when i cry but i'm sick of always being the one i've been told that talking to me is like talking to a wall and i've been told by my best friend that he doesn't care, no not at all if i make it through the night, it's no wonder i can't take a compliment and you wonder why, i can't sleep at night while i wonder how, anybody can

dear friend, please don't say that you wanna die to me, cuz just in case, you forgot, i'd do anything for you and i just wish, i could make you happy but when you call me crying at 4 in the morning i wish, there was anything, i could say to make you stop cuz i know she's lying, and i know how you feel cuz i've been there, it's how i know her truth isn't real i've been fooling myself into thinking when i find myself sobbing at 3 in the morning there'd be anyone here i could call who'd say "come over, i know how you feel" lately my friends, call me crazy straight to my face lately my friends, call each other stupid and i can't stand the looks on their face cuz i had a lover once he screamed the same things at me and he was serious so i don't find it funny and i don't know how you do wish i could make you understand, the weight of your words wish i could show you the look on my face when it's 2 in morning, or something and there's no one to call and there's no one at all who knows where i am there's no one to call and there's no one at all who knows how i feel